The Epitaph
by Die Toten Engel
Summary: A U.S. soldier finds himself put in a position where he must fight to save mankind though he never expected to be paired with who they chose for him.
1. Chapter 1

The author makes no creative claim to the Evangelion franchise. Evangelion, the EVA series and all other Evangelion characters belong to their respective copyright owners. The author has received no compensation, monetary or otherwise, for the publication of this story.

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To Marcus

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The Epitaph

Chapter One

It was 0600 hours and the alarm went off. Marcus sat up and rubbed the inadequate sleep from his eyes. In thirty minutes he would have to report for PT. He sat on the edge of the bed and thought about the day ahead of him. It would be just like every other day since he'd arrived in the war zone. Wake up, go to PT, take a shower, come back to his quarters, talk to his wife on the computer for a few minutes, grab a cup of coffee and a to-go plate from the mess hall and then off to eight hours of radio checks. After work, he'd try to blow off some steam with his guitar, but more often than not he couldn't even get himself to play. Then it was back to his quarters to kill time until his roommate left and he could go to sleep. Once he woke up, it would all begin again. The same thing: Day in, and day out.

"_How am I going to survive this?"_

He'd gone to war for the first time six years earlier. Back then he was on the front lines. The war was new and exciting and his unit patrolled the streets of the newly conquered city. Combat was interesting. It had to be. If you didn't pay attention, you wound up dead. When you're being shot at only three things matter: Not getting shot, keeping your buddies from getting shot, and shooting the guy who is shooting at you. Combat was simple. But this? This was hell. The war was nearly seven years old now and there wasn't much fighting left. Marcus had been promoted, but a side effect of the promotion was a desk job.

"_How did I end up a fucking desk-driver?"_

That morning, while shaving, he studied his face in the mirror. He had a few lines on his forehead. His dark brown eyes punctuated his soldier's mug. His upper lip sported a hint of a mustache that never really went away. He had always been proud of his nearly black hair, but in recent years it had begun a retreat towards the back of his head. It hadn't gone far as of yet, but he hoped it wouldn't go much further. He just turned thirty and he didn't think he looked too bad. He was in the best shape of his life. He stood six feet and one inch tall in his stocking feet. He had always been the skinny kid, but the gym had given him a fuller physique.

He thought about his wife back home. They had been together for the better part of ten years. She was what kept him anchored. She was his lover, confidant, accountant, and boss. He loved her in a way that he was never able to love any other woman. She was as much a part of him as was his arm. Being away from her was like being without his dominant hand. She and his boy were in California visiting family for the holidays. Their son, James, was about to turn two. Marcus had missed his first birthday because of the army, and he was going to miss this one as well. He wanted to be with his family, but ultimately, he was doing what he was doing for them. If all he had to sacrifice was a birthday here and there to ensure his wife and kid had a solid future, then he would do it. Besides, it wouldn't be forever. He snapped out of his reverie when he glanced at the clock. He wouldn't have time to get online this morning; he had to get to work.

When he first went into the army more than a decade ago he was a tank driver, but they didn't need tanks in this war. Since his promotion to sergeant and his subsequent deployment, he had been assigned to the tactical operations center. Instead of patrolling streets and shooting at bad guys, he was now sitting at a desk, doing radio checks and filing reports. He was in charge of exactly one subordinate soldier. Marcus's main job was coordinating troop movements and arranging air support. Most days nothing happened. Sometimes a patrol would call for help investigating suspicious activity. IED's had become less of a problem so there were fewer calls for the bomb squad. Boredom was a constant issue. If you're bored, you're not on top of your game. If you're not on top of your game, people can die. A boring war was still a war.

Later that afternoon, as he was reading an old newspaper for the sixth time, his mind started to wander. He had been talking to his ex-girlfriend online ever since he deployed. They hadn't actually laid eyes on one another in the past decade, but they'd always kept in touch. Over the years things had been pretty complicated. There was a lot of history between the two but now that they were both married and had children, they were friends. They dated back when they were teenagers. They spent their time together being cruel to one another and hurting each other's feelings. When adults do the things to other people that they did to each other, it ends up on a talk show. But they were only kids and kids do fucked up things. Maybe that's why they were still friends. They each knew the side of the other that they would rather forget ever existed.

Almost every day when he got online after work, she would pop up a message asking if he was busy. Most of the time, their conversations turned to philosophy or something equally as involved. A few days ago she asked him a question that he found himself pondering at the present moment.

"_If you could live forever, would you and why?"_

A call came in from a patrol wanting information about a certain bridge. Things had been pretty quiet but it had been getting more interesting the past few days. Elections were coming up and some of the old loyalists were up to their old tricks. There had been several coordinated attacks and just the other day he handled the medical evacuation of a boy that was just a little older than his son back at home. He always hated it when bad things happened to kids. Just as he was about to explain to the patrol on the radio that there was no way he could know what the bridge they were wanting looked like, his brain registered the sound of an explosion. To say that he heard the mortar hit the TOC would be a misstatement; the ringing in his ears prevented him from actually hearing anything. His warrior instincts took over, but by then there was nothing for them to take over. His consciousness slipped into the ether.

Marcus felt the overwhelming sensation of having no sensation. There was no pain. There was no feeling at all. He didn't know if he was alive or dead. At that moment, all he knew was the deafening roar of nothingness.

"_If you could live forever, would you?"_

"Calibrating."

"Fifteen seconds to élan."

"Psychic integration within acceptable parameters."

"Enabling cognizance."

"Animate."

Marcus had the sense of being back in a body, however, the body was not his own. He struggled to open his eyes but this body would not obey the commands of his mind.

"Do not be alarmed. Your nervous system will reach synchronization shortly."

The voice was alien to him. It was unnaturally mechanical and had a strange lisp. His eyes finally opened. The only thing he could move was his eyes. Apparently he was not yet "synchronized" enough to move anything else.

"_What the fuck is going on?"_

He couldn't speak.

"Your speech will return. You will soon have complete use of this body."

"_Can they hear my thoughts?"_

"Yes, we can hear your thoughts."

The strange, lisping speech was unsettling. Marcus was strapped to a table. His sense of touch was returning and though the table looked hard and medical, it was fairly comfortable. The room was dimly lit. He could hear the soft whirr of some machine nearby. He sensed that there was more than one person in the room.

"_Have I been abducted by aliens?"_

"We are not 'aliens'. Extraterrestrials do not exist."

He still couldn't speak. He thought as angrily as he could, _"Then who the fuck are you and where the fuck am I? What's going on?!"_

"All in good time, Sergeant Winborn."

"Synchronization at seventy-one percent." This voice was different from the first.

A being moved into his limited view. Marcus estimated that the odd looking man stood about five feet five inches tall. He was very thin and lanky for his height. His head was devoid of hair. The man wore a garment that seemed a mix between a lab coat and a muumuu. Marcus surmised that he was a doctor of some sort. His facial features were soft and feminine but he carried himself like a man. A small silver box at the base of the doctor's neck served as the origin of the mechanical voice Marcus had heard earlier. He could feel himself returning to the rest of the body.

"Synchronization complete."

The straps released themselves from the table. Marcus jumped up, ready to fight.

The doctor spoke, "Remain calm, we mean you no harm."

Marcus noticed that he was naked and had nothing with which to fight. Even his dog tags were gone. He tried to recall what happened prior to waking up here. He remembered the sergeant from the patrol calling in and asking for info on a bridge. He remembered an explosion.

"Am I dead?" This time it came out as a statement instead of a thought.

The doctor cryptically replied, an amused expression on his delicate face, "Death is a condition relative to life."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Marcus demanded.

The doctor ignored his question, "Please make use of the dressing room to your left. We will leave you for now; your debriefing is in one hour."


	2. Chapter 2

It was a crisp Thursday afternoon. Angela had just gotten off work from the library and she was headed back home to where her father was watching her baby girl. She had only been back to work for a month, but she loved her new job. She was twenty-eight years old. She had tried on a few careers after graduating college but nothing had fit. Out of boredom she had a baby. The first few months of being a stay-at-home mom were nice, but she soon found herself drinking early in the day as a way to ward off loneliness. She had to find something to do. In a few weeks she would begin classes for her master's degree. Few things made her happier than thinking about things and analyzing events. Her husband had left for the army only three days ago. She didn't want him to go. She hated him for going, but he went anyway. On one hand she understood that he was just trying to provide for his family, on the other hand, she wondered if she could sleep in the same bed with a trained killer.

Angela had always thrived on experience: The good, the bad, the ugly, it didn't matter. She liked to say that she had no regrets, but the truth was it was easier to deny they existed than to face the demons she harbored in her past. She was one of those people who always got what she wanted. Anything she pursued, she achieved. Except for that one time.

"_I just can't say I love you anymore . . ." _

She pushed the thought back into the darkness where it belonged. As she sat at the stoplight, she looked at herself in the review mirror. She had lost her pregnancy weight and then some. She was working out regularly. Her cheekbones had come back from their exile under the layer of padding that had developed as a result of years of study and self-neglect. Her eyes were emerald green. Her long brunette hair accented her creamy complexion. She thought to herself,

"_Damn I'm hot!" _

She had always enjoyed looking at herself in the mirror. Angela possessed a bit of a vain streak. The light turned green and she let off the breaks. At that moment a semi-truck plowed through the intersection and hit the driver side of her Toyota at full speed. Angela didn't even have a chance to think about the baby she adored or the husband she'd loved since he was a senior in high school. The nothingness enveloped her.

"Calibrating."


	3. Chapter 3

Marcus was alone in the room. He stood next to the table that had held him only moments ago. Upon further inspection he decided that it was more like a thin, soft, bed than the dissection table he expected. There was no visible machinery in the room. A dim glow radiated from strips of lighting placed midway up the walls. The space gave him the impression of a hotel room. The décor was nondescript. A small table with a lamp on top and two chairs by its side sat across the room. They were of sturdy construction and looked like they were meant to withstand the use of scores of people yet still somehow remain aesthetically pleasing. The door that the doctor had used as an exit was on his right. To his left was a narrow door that supposedly led to a dressing room. He realized he was still naked.

Marcus entered the small adjacent room. It was no bigger than a very small bathroom. A thinly padded bench ran around the perimeter of the room. A small but bright light flooded the space with a harsh radiance. The entire wall opposite the door was mirrored. Marcus was shocked by his reflection. The face was most definitely his own, but he had changed. The lines in his face were gone. His hair was back where it belonged. He looked younger, yet his eyes retained the quality of one who had seen things most men had not. His body was, well, perfect. He looked like a modern Vitruvian man. His six-foot one inch frame was essentially unchanged, but he was more muscular. He flexed his arm. Michelangelo could have been his creator. Every scar he had ever earned was gone. Even his tattoo was missing.

"_What the fuck is going on here?"_

He noticed a folded garment lying on the bench. He picked it up and examined its construction. It resembled a wetsuit yet he could tell that there were minute wires and sensors embedded within its fibers. It was remarkably light, though it seemed incredibly strong. Marcus decided he may as well try it on. The alternative was to face his captors stark naked. He zipped the garment up to his neck. The suit fit like a sock that had been worn already. It was baggy in all the wrong places. It covered his entire body, leaving only his head and hands exposed.

"_This looks like hell."_

He looked down and noticed a small light flashing at his left wrist. He reached down to examine it. When Marcus touched the light, the suit reacted. All of the baggy places sucked in and the garment sized itself to his body. It fit like a custom made body suit.

"_Can this get any stranger?"_

At that moment the doctor's voice came over a hidden intercom.

"Sergeant Winborn, would you join us in the briefing room?"

The door to the dressing room silently slid open. The door the doctor had used to leave earlier was open as well. Marcus crossed the room and walked through the door to a larger briefing room. The doctor stood alongside of a man dressed in a military uniform. The man was in his late fifties or early sixties. His face was stern with military experience. Marcus could tell from the insignia that the man was a colonel of the United States army. He instinctively saluted. The colonel returned his salute and replied, "At ease son, we'll begin shortly." Marcus didn't notice that a female attendant had entered the briefing room from the opposite side. When the movement caught his attention, Marcus glanced over at the opposite side of the room. He felt his entrails grow cold. He almost shouted,

"What's SHE got to do with all of this?!?"


	4. Chapter 4

Angela laid in the darkness. Her mind felt like a soap bubble that had been released into to air. She was sure that at any second the bubble would pop and her consciousness would be gone.

"_So this is death?"_

A mechanical voice replied to her thought, "Death is a condition relative to life."

"_Thank you Captain Obvious."_

"Synchronization at fifty-eight percent."

Angela was sure she was dead. There was no other explanation. She recalled the split second before the truck smashed into her little car. There could be no other reasonable conclusion than she had died. Angela's greatest fear had always been dying before she was ready. She loved life, every stinking inch of it. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready to die. There was too much in the world left to experience. She thought about her husband and her baby and all the time she wouldn't be able to spend with them. She felt a hot tear form on her cheek.

"_I'm crying. . . "_

"Synchronization complete."

Angela opened her eyes. An odd looking doctor stood over her. A nondescript female attendant stood beside him.

"What's going on? Who are you people? What am I doing here? Where are we?" The questions flew out of Angela's mouth like birds that had been trapped in a cage. The doctor gave her little regard. He turned to the woman standing next to him,

"See to it she is dressed and that she joins us in the briefing room shortly."

The woman replied, her voice as nondescript as her appearance, "Yes, doctor."

The man exited the room.

The woman looked at her and said, "Please get dressed."

She indicated a small dressing room to Angela's left. It was the first time that Angela noticed she was naked. Because she was still partially convinced that she was dead, Angela wasn't afraid.

"_How can you be afraid if you've got nothing left to lose?"_

Angela entered the small dressing room and examined herself in a mirror that covered an entire wall. She looked like herself only more physically fit. Her hair was longer and her skin was flawless. It was as though her body was newly formed. She began to take inventory.

_"Slim waist, long hair, perky tits," _she looked down, _"landing strip. No doubt about it, a man designed this body."_ She smirked at her reflection. _"The world couldn't handle me if I looked like this while alive."_

Angela spotted a garment folded on the bench behind her. She picked it up. It was completely white. It looked like some kind of cat suit. It had feet built into it but the hands were free.

"_This is must be what they want me to wear," _she thought to herself.

She tried on the garment. It didn't fit very well. It was cut too big in many places.

_"What a shame it is to hide such a perfect body in such a hideous outfit."_

Angela detected a small light blinking at her left wrist.

"What the . . ." She touched the light and the suit came to life. It automatically formed itself to her body. It was very tight and showed off every curve, but it was comfortable. She looked at herself again in the mirror.

"What is this, some sort of joke? Do they think we're in a comic book or something?"

She noticed that her hair swung nearly to her waist. She had always hated long hair, it got in her way.

"What am I supposed to do with this crap?" she said, indicating her hair and talking to no one in particular.

"Oh . . ." She picked up a white hair tie off of the bench and pulled her hair into a high pony tail. The female attendant appeared at the door.

"Come with me, they're expecting us," the woman stated in a deadpan manner.

"Who are 'they'?" Angela asked in a derisive tone. The woman did not answer. She turned to leave and Angela, lacking anything else to do, followed. They passed through a door and arrived in a medium sized room. Unlike the dressing room, it was dimly lit. There were several large central screens in the space showing schematics and status reports. The doctor stood at the center of a half-moon shaped table. A military official stood next to him. A man, dressed the same as Angela, stood behind one of the two chairs opposite the doctor. He looked vaguely familiar. As the attendant led Angela closer to the table she realized who she was looking at. Her heart turned into a rock and sank to the bottom of her stomach. He recognized her in the same instance. Angela uttered a barely perceptible, "Its him . . ."


	5. Chapter 5

"Good, we can begin. I am Colonel William Fletcher; you have already met Doctor Kilgrund. I have brought you both here at the behest of the United States Army. Please sit down."

The colonel handed Marcus and Angela each a dossier. A logo on the front depicted a fig leaf exposing the words "NERV-01." The colonel began again,

"Sergeant Winborn you have been selected to take part in a mission that is integral to the survival of mankind." Fletcher indicated that they should open the files. The first page was a summary of the information the colonel was presenting at the moment.

"In cooperation with the United Nations, the United States had had a hand in developing a series of super weapons. NERV is the agency charged with the research and manufacture of these weapons. Their purpose is to protect mankind from threats originating outside of common human experience."

They turned the page. The second page contained a photo of what looked like a monster. It had two arms, two legs, a torso, and a head, but it was definitely not human. It was covered in some sort of armor. It was fierce and, Angela thought, frightening.

"After years of failed experiments, the Japanese developed the first successful EVA unit. The EVAs are the epitome of mankind's progress. They will herald the next stage of human evolution. Each EVA is controlled by a specially selected pilot. If used properly the EVAs will be mankind's savoir. If misused, they will be our destruction"

Marcus sucked in his breath. The colonel continued.

"The members of the United Nation's security council have been developing a fleet of these EVAs for use in the event the world is threatened by a force that conventional weapons cannot neutralize. However, our Japanese counter parts have betrayed us. They intend to use their EVAs to seize world power for themselves. We recently discovered that they sabotaged our Nevada facility which resulted in the loss of 12,000 American lives. They have broken the Vatican Treaty and we, along with our allies in the United Kingdom and Russia, must stop them before they succeed. If the Japanese achieve their goals, life as we know it will cease to exist."

Angela was unable to speak. Marcus put on his soldier's face and said, "I understand sir, what do you want me to do?"

The colonel replied, "You will pilot one of the two American EVA units in an attempt to subdue the Japanese threat."

Marcus looked over at Angela and then up at the colonel, "Sir, what does she have to do with all of this?"

The doctor stepped forward, his tin can voice carried through the room, "I can answer that if you please." He looked at the colonel who gave him a slight nod.

"In order for the EVAs to function properly, the pilot must have a 'bond' with the unit. The Japanese use children whose mothers have been absorbed by the EVAs as pilots. As we are not as barbaric as our Japanese equivalent, we have found a more humane solution. Instead of implanting the EVA with a soul the pilot had previously bonded to, we use two units that are mutually compatible. The units are connected by means of a neural net. In our units, it is the pilots that must be bonded to one another. Under normal circumstances we would spend months selecting the proper pilots and forging a bond between them that would serve our purposes, but as we have less than eighteen hours before we must deploy, we had to settle on a pre-existing bond."

Marcus nodded, "I understand, but why her of all people? There are many people, fellow soldiers, who I share a strong bond with. Surely one of them would have sufficed?"

The doctor shook his head. "The pilot and the EVA unit are spliced together using the A10 region of the brain. This region supplies mankind with certain emotions that are useful to us, such as the thoughts of two lovers, or that of a parent and a child. It is why the Japanese went the route they did."

The doctor looked wistful, "In layman's terms, it is the power of love that drives this weapon of mass destruction."

Marcus looked incredulous, "You mean she's here because I love her?!"

The doctor answered, "Not exactly. She is here because at one time you did and because she still loves you. Your brains already have the necessary pathways. You will protect one another. We needed someone with whom you could bond, but also someone you would be willing to sacrifice in the heat of battle if necessary."

For the first time Angela animated, "Sacrifice?!?! You mean I'm an expendable crewman?! You bastards! What makes you think I'm going to do this?"

The colonel stepped up, "You're absolutely right, you're expendable and if you don't agree to help us then you'll find out exactly how expendable you really are."

The doctor interjected, "Colonel, if I may. Time is short."

He turned to towards the soldier and his shocked companion, "Its time you met your EVA units."


	6. Chapter 6

Marcus and Angela found themselves standing with the doctor at one end of a long hallway. The cement floors reflected the harsh fluorescent light. The hallway looked endless. No area they had been through was immune to the mechanical buzz which resonated through the corridor. Behind them a metal door opened. They turned around and boarded a small tram. The doctor spoke,

"Sector 14 please."

The undersized car lurched forward. The doctor began to speak,

"I'm sure you're wondering how you came to be here. For some time now the U.S. government has had the ability to transfer consciousness from a living being to an artificial physical containment unit."

Angela spoke up, "Artificial physical containment unit?" Her eyes narrowed, "Is that what we're calling 'bodies' these days?" The doctor ignored the woman's flippant comment and continued his monologue, "Human consciousness can only be extracted once its physical container is destroyed."

Angela interjected again, "You mean you killed us! You son of a bitch!"

_"This isn't helping." _Marcus thought. He reached over and squeezed Angela's hand in an attempt to keep her quiet. The unexpected touch shocked Angela into silence.

Once again, Kilgrund resumed his explanation, "As I was saying, in order to extract the consciousness, we must first destroy the original container. If we are to maintain the clandestine status of our abilities, it must look like an accident, or in your case Sergeant Winborn, an act of war."

The tram rounded a corner and continued down yet another long passageway.

"The containment units you have been given are a perfect replica of your physical bodies, save for a few improvements. You are both in perfect physical condition. Your reflexes are faster and your senses are sharper. You are nearly indestructible. The transfer was necessary if you were to have any hope of surviving battle in one of our EVAs. The APCU is capable of enhancing your personal AT field, giving you far more protection than you would otherwise have."

In a more respectful tone Angela asked the doctor, "What's an 'AT field'?"

The doctor replied, "An 'AT field' is the force that holds a psyche together. Without it you lose all form. Most people believe humans are held together by flesh and bone, never realizing that the flesh they are so fond of is incapable of containing the human spirit without the help of the AT field."

The doctor noticed Angela fingering the material of her clothing.

"The suits you are wearing are known as 'plug suits.' They will facilitate your connection with the EVA unit as well as provide limited life support in the event physical compromise."

The tram slowed and a large bay door opened ahead of them. They came to a stop inside of an enormous hangar. Technicians buzzed around the room, each busied with some important task. Before them stood two identical . . . somethings. Marcus let a breathless "wow" escape his lips. Angela began to shake.

The EVA units were humongous. The catwalk the trio stood upon was roughly chest high to one of the machines. They were nearly three stories up. The EVAs wore white armor; their black bodies peeked out from between the armored plates. Unlike the rest of the body, the head was not humanoid. Its shape resembled that of a whale or a worm. Large metallic teeth shone through red muscular lips. The creatures had no eyes.

The doctor began speaking, "This is mankind's salvation: The Evangelion."

The doctor's eyes gleamed. "Each unit is equipped with a super solenoid engine, or S^2 engine, which allows them to operate indefinitely. It also gives the units a limited ability to regenerate after being damaged. They rely on the S^2 engine to power the AT field which is their and your protection. They are capable of flight. Their wings can be deployed within seconds and they have a flight speed that rivals most modern aircraft. Their primary weapon is a double-bladed Heavy Lance. It is able to penetrate other AT fields with ease."

"But what do we do?" Marcus asked.

"Ah yes," replied the doctor.

"The pilot is encased in the entry plug. The plug is filled with a liquid known as LCL. It both protects the pilot by regulating his physical functions as well as facilitating a smoother connection between the pilot and the EVA. From the entry plug, the pilot controls the EVA with his own movements and thoughts. You will become one being. The thought feedback provided by your partner and her unit will ensure that the EVAs respond as effortlessly to your commands as does your arm. Now, if you don't mind, I have some things to attend to. In one hour we prepare to launch."


	7. Chapter 7

"One hour?!" Angela balked. The doctor was already gone.

"On hour?!" She said again. Angela began to pace the narrow catwalk.

"This is ridiculous. How do they expect us to do anything with these monsters? You might be able to figure it out, but there's no way I can do this! I just want to go home . . ."

She sunk to the floor and began to sob uncontrollably.

Marcus wasn't sure what to do. The battle part of this he could understand. Sure, some strange things had happened since this morning, but it was the government. One could never really be sure what all they were capable of. He was used to taking orders but combining all of this with a sobbing ex-girlfriend may prove to be too much. Marcus approached the crumpled mass of woman. He grabbed her by the shoulders and helped her into a standing position. He forced her to look into his eyes,

"You've got to calm down. This is happening whether you want it to or not."

Her tear stained face caused something inside of him to stir, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. His thoughts turned to his wife. He looked at Angela again.

"If you want to get back to David and I want to get home to Erica we've got to do this."

Angela shook out of his grip.

"Don't be stupid!" She spat the words at him.

"Do you really think they're going to let us go home after all of this? After all we've seen? We're expendable, remember? This is all your fault! I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you! We're never going to see our families again!" She was shouting. Several technicians stopped their work to watch the spectacle. Her energy faltered, she lowered her voice.

"We're already dead." Her rage abated and sorrow took over. Angela hung her head. Two fat tears splatted on the ground below her.

A non-descript female technician approached the pair on the catwalk. Angela recognized her from earlier, or did she? The woman was the same yet different. She spoke, her voice as devoid of emotion as was her face,

"Please come with me. You are to wait in one of the observation modules while the doctor makes the final preparations for the launch."

The woman turned to leave. Marcus and Angela followed behind her. They said nothing. The air was heavy with feeling. The trio walked to the far end of the catwalk and entered yet another identical hallway. A small lift took them to the door of the observation room. The technician indicated that they should go inside. The room was sparsely furnished. It was stark white. Rows of cabinets lined the walls on either side of the door. A central console housed computers and other technical equipment. A convex window bay formed the front wall of the room. From the room one could see into the hangar where the EVAs were being prepped for launch. Marcus turned around to ask the technician a question. She was gone.

For a moment Marcus was unsure of what to do. It was the first time since this ordeal began that he and Angela had been alone. It seemed so strange. They talked all the time, yet here they were, face to face, and he didn't know what to say. For some reason, it was easier when there was a computer screen separating them. He turned around. Angela was sitting in one of the few metal chairs, facing away from him. Her legs were crossed. She sat, leaning over, her elbow on her knee and her chin resting in her hand. She was staring out the window at the EVAs. She was no longer crying.

Marcus paced the room, thinking.

"_This is nuts."_

The soldier and adventurer in him were ready to go. The thought of being inside of one of those ugly things gave him pause, but he was excited for the challenge. He had always wanted to be a pilot. This was his chance. The rest of it though, that was another story. Marcus stole another glance at Angela. She hadn't moved. She was still very pretty. For a moment he allowed his thoughts to drift back to his youth. They had been so young; so naive. Most of his memories of her were a jumble of lipstick smeared faces, flannel shirts, and backseats of cars. He thought of soft, inexperienced bodies, exploring one another. He felt shame creep into his soul when he recalled how he had abandoned her when she needed him most.

"_She can't possibly love me like that anymore. Can she?"_

Of course he felt _something_ for her, but he had packed that away long ago. There was no point in digging at old wounds; it would only complicate things further. The last thing they needed was more complications. He thought about his wife, Erica and their son James. Had they notified her that he had been killed? After the mortar hit the TOC there would have been a flurry of activity. Casualties had to be attended to. The dead must be counted and then mourned. A counter attack needed to be staged and the culprits caught or killed. As far as anyone in his unit knew, he was dead. There would be a body, his body, left behind. Yet he, or at least the part of him that was himself, was here. He envisioned an army official accompanied by a chaplain walking up to the door of his mother-in-law's house and informing his wife that she had lost her husband. At that point he realized Angela was probably right. They were never going to be allowed to return to their families. That had never been part of the plan. For a moment, sadness threatened to overtake him. Marcus shook away the feeling; this was no time to be sentimental. Feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to save his skin and besides, he had a job to do. He was a soldier.

"_What am I doing here?" _Angela thought. Bitterness filled her soul. Anger and hostility were easier to deal with than loneliness and fear. She stared at the EVAs.

"_They look like monsters. How can I ever get inside of one of those things?"_

Angela believed that there was nothing more precious than a human life, but here they were sending her into battle against children.

"_I can't do this."_

If she didn't fight then even more people could die. Marcus could die. She didn't want to think about that. She never wanted to be in a position where she had to make these choices, but she had only a few hours to figure it all out.

"_This is all his fault."_

She turned around. Marcus had his back to her. He seemed to be deep in thought. She wouldn't have known what to say to him anyhow. Her darkest secret had been bared with no warning. Angela had always been ashamed of her love for him. It was the one weak spot in her carefully constructed façade. Long ago it had ceased to be romantic in nature. Romantic love needs hope to survive. Instead it had become like an old injury that acted up when the weather changed. It was a part of who she was. She always felt that if she had been stronger or more disciplined then she could have stopped it. Marcus turned around and realized Angela was staring at him. He was unnerved for some reason. He struggled to speak,

"I . . .I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this."

Angela looked away, "It's my own damn fault."

Marcus tried to lighten the mood a bit, "Hey, at least we're hot!" Angela smirked, but said nothing. He usually prided himself on his social ability, but in this instance he didn't know what to do. He hated not knowing what to do. It seemed to happen more often when she was around. He sunk his frame into a metal chair.

"I didn't realize . . ." Marcus began, the words he wanted refused to come.

_"Why is it that when I'm looking at her I can never find anything to say?"_


	8. Chapter 8

The inside of the cockpit smelled faintly like blood. It was difficult to take that first LCL filled breath but once one got used to it, it seemed completely natural. Marcus and Angela were inside of their entry plugs. This was their first and only synchronization test. A steady stream of techno babble flitted in and out of the capsule.

"Synchronization rates within the 60th percentile."

"Psychic contamination minimal."

"Vital signs stable."

Inside of the EVA the pilots experienced a new level of awareness. Their bodies and consciousnesses were one with the EVAs and with one another. They could sense each other as well as the essence of the Evangelions. Once synchronized, it became obvious that the EVA was much more than just a machine. It was alive. Colonel Fletcher appeared before them on a screen in the cockpit.

"As of 1300 hours today, the Japanese branch of NERV has gone rogue. Their commander, Gendo Ikari, has seized control of NERV headquarters and intends to use EVA Units 01 and 02 for his own purposes. The Japanese Strategic Self Defense Force has mounted a campaign to take back control of NERV headquarters and to secure Evangelion Units 01 and 02. Your mission is to provide backup to the JSSDF and in the event they fail, you are to assume their objectives. You are to successfully capture EVA Units 01 and 02. If necessary, destroy Unit 02, but Unit 01 must be preserved. It is instrumental to our success. Do you have any questions?"

Marcus replied, "No sir. Ready to go sir."

Angela piped up, "You mean we're supposed to go to battle against little Japanese kids?"

The colonel replied, "You are to engage rogue elements of the Japanese branch of NERV in order to secure precious resources for the United Nations and the United States government."

Angela countered, "What if I refuse to fight?"

The colonel curtly replied, "Then you die, along with your partner and scores of innocent civilians."

The screen clicked off.

"Three minutes until launch. Eject the entry plugs"


	9. Chapter 9

The colonel entered his study at the rear of the briefing room. He clicked on the monitor. A familiar voice filled the room.

"Ikari has attempted to block our takeover of the MAGI system. When will you be ready to participate?"

"The EVAs are in place as we speak. They will launch shortly."

"With the Lance of Longinus unavailable, completion using Lilith is not viable.  
We must proceed with EVA-01, Lilith's lone copy."

"It is unlikely that the JSSDF will achieve our goals. The remaining EVA units must be successful if Instrumentality is to proceed."

"The time has finally come."

"May all souls find peace."


	10. Chapter 10

The monitor clicked off and the room went silent. The colonel opened a desk drawer and pulled out a battered pack of cigarettes. He took one out, put it to his lips, and lit it.

_"If Eleanor knew I was doing this she'd kill me."_

Colonel William Fletcher was a stout, balding man who had nearly forty-two years of service in the United States Army. He had been drafted to go to Vietnam when he was 18 and he never bothered to get out. He had spent half of his career eligible to retire but he could never get himself to throw in the towel. The army was all he knew. This stint in Boston was supposed to be his last post. He didn't want to be a general and the Army didn't know what to do with a colonel who was on his way out, so they stuck him at MIT, babysitting eggheads who were working on some big defense project.

The work wasn't bad, but recent funding cuts had been giving him headaches.

_"Damn Democrats. That's all they know how to do: Siphon money from the defense budget and give it to teenage girls that can't keep their legs closed."_

Everything had been going smoothly until their sister facility in Nevada was vaporized a few months ago. Twelve thousand people: Gone. The entire facility was converted to dust. The higher ups said it was a failed experiment. Fletcher had believed them. He had no reason not to.

One day, a little more than three weeks ago, Fletcher walked into his office after lunch. A man was sitting in his chair. He had a pony tail and he was unshaven. He looked like one of those Japanese playboys that were in fashion these days. He said his name was Kaji. Fletch never could tell whether it was his last name or his first. Those Japanese had funny ideas about name order. The man said very little but he left a data disk. He told Fletcher that all of their lives depended on him reading and understanding the material on that disk. Kaji sauntered out of the office like it was his own. Fletch still had no idea how he got past security.

The information on the disk was mind blowing. Since taking over command of NERV-01, Fletcher had though it was odd that his chain of command had directed him to take orders from a group called SEELE. To his knowledge they were just another UN committee. According to the information Kaji had given him, SEELE was the real puppet master behind the United Nations. They had initiated the EVA program in hopes of forging all of mankind into one being. SEELE planned to use the EVAs to create God. It was crazy. It turns out that the Nevada facility had become aware of the true nature of the Human Instrumentality Project and SEELE had it destroyed. There was no 'failed experiment.' The commander of the Japanese branch of NERV had been a part of it all from the beginning and now he was trying to make himself into a God in spite of SEELE's plans. Fletcher put his face in his hands.

_"My God Bill, how did it all come to this?"_

It had taken a few days for the information to sink in. Fletcher finally shared the disk with the only man he could really trust, Dr. Henry Kilgrund. Hank knew as much about the EVA program as did its creators. He had trained with a Dr. Naoko Akagi in Japan and he had set up the MAGI system in the U.S. Between the two of them, they devised a plan. All of the Mass Production Evangelion units housed in the U.S. were piloted by dummy plugs. They had no actual pilot, just a pre-programmed core. They had received the cores from the Japanese. Fletcher was sure the dummy plugs had been programmed for Instrumentality. If they could replace one of the dummies with an actual pilot, then maybe they could cause enough interference and prevent either the Japanese or SEELE from turning the entire human race into soup.

Fletcher had to be careful. He didn't want to suffer the same fate as those in Nevada. They had only planned on one pilot, but for some reason they now had two.

"_Hank, what are you up to?"_

The intercom buzzed and a dead pan female voice came through the speaker, "Colonel Fletcher, Doctor Kilgrund is here to see you."

"Send him in."

_"I liked Rachel better before they cloned her and started using her for everything."_

The doctor entered the room. He was remarkably calm given the circumstances. Colonel Fletcher snubbed out his cigarette and addressed his colleague,

"Hank, what's going on? I thought we planned on one pilot? What are you doing with that civilian?"

The doctor sat down in front of the colonel's desk. His metallic voice rang through the smallish room,

"To be honest, I don't know what she's doing here. When we were transferring [Winborn] out of the buffer we discovered there were two consciousnesses. I was going to dump the pattern but then I noticed their synchronization rates were nearly identical. She's a perfect fit as a pilot, even if she has no experience."

The doctor continued, "While animating the new APCU it became apparent the two candidates already had a psychic bond of some sort. We can use that to our advantage. We don't have to risk scrambling our experienced pilot's brain in order to get him to synch with an EVA that was never meant to bond with an actual human. We can now use the two pilots as psychic insulators for one another. The synch rates will be higher and because we don't have to physically alter the EVAs there is less risk of detection."

The colonel lit another cigarette, "What kind of dumb luck is that? We go to harvest the consciousness of our pilot and the perfect match comes along. . . It doesn't make sense."

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment, "She must have died at the same instant he did and somehow her psyche became attached to his. Those sorts of bonds do transcend both time and space."

"That all sounds dandy, but will it work?" Fletcher asked his comrade.

The doctor replied, "Well Bill, I guess we'll know soon. I was coming to tell you that the EVAs had launched."


	11. Chapter 11

The EVAs had been loaded onto special launch vehicles that resembled the old B-2 Spirit. The entry plugs containing the pilots had been put into the aircraft separately so that they could be briefed on their mission prior to final synchronization. They had been in the air for a little over an hour. The LCL came to life inside of the entry plugs and a voice filled the cockpit. It was Colonel Fletcher:

"In one hour you will touch down near what is left of the city of Tokoyo-3. Here are your mission specs:"

An image of EVA Unit-01 flashed in the cockpit, to its right was a picture of a young boy. It was labeled, 'Ikari, Shinji."

"This is your prime target. You are to capture the Evangelion known as 'Unit-01' and its pilot, Shinji Ikari. Current intelligence places the unit still inside launch cage number seven located within the Geofront."

A schematic of NERV headquarters came up, the location of cage seven was highlighted.

"We expect NERV to launch Unit-01 shortly after your arrival. This will facilitate capture."

This time an image of a red Evangelion appeared alongside an image of a pretty, red haired girl. The picture was labeled, "Langley-Soryu, Asuka."

"This is your secondary target. The Evangelion with the designation of 'Unit-02' If you are able to capture the unit without jeopardizing your primary objective, do so. If not you are to destroy both the unit and its pilot."

Angela blanched at the use of the word "destroy."

The colonel continued the briefing,

"Once over the target area you will be loaded into your EVA units and dropped along with the other seven allied EVAs. You will deploy your wings and glide down to the drop area."

A map appeared with their final destination highlighted.

"Our intelligence states that Unit-02 has been harassing the JSSDF forces. It has already caused extensive damage. Once you are on the ground you are to engage Unit-02 along with the other deployed EVAs and retrieve Unit-01. Once you have achieved your objectives you will be given further instructions."

The doctor appeared before the pilots' eyes,

"The EVAs will obey your every command. Merely thinking about an action will cause the EVA to perform it. They will respond to your every emotion. You needn't worry about how to fight. The EVAs have the skill, you need only supply them with the motivation. If one of you were to be compromised in battle, we cannot predict how the remaining pilot will react inside the EVA without the psychic buffer of his partner. Your best chance for a successful return is to ensure the survivability of the other pilot; however the overall success of the mission must be your focus."

The colonel came back on the screen,

"Do you have any questions?"

Marcus replied in his soldier's voice, "No sir. Ready for battle sir."

Angela responded quietly, "No sir."

The cockpits went silent.


	12. Chapter 12

Colonel Fletcher clicked off the screen. He had given the pilots only as much information as they needed to know. He couldn't have his two EVAs acting contrary to the mission SEELE had given him. If SEELE found out what he was doing, they would destroy him, his pilots, and their EVAs. All hope would be lost. He looked over at his friend,

"By God I hope this works Hank."

The doctor looked grim. "We won't know until we get there. There is no way to predict how this will all play out. The original Red Earth ceremony called for only one soul to act as the vessel for all of mankind. Who knows what will happen when there are two others present. With any luck those two pilots will act as a pair of sabots thrown into the machinery, forcing it to grind to a halt."

The colonel clenched his teeth for a moment,

"Mind if I smoke?"

"By all means."


	13. Chapter 13

"Load entry plugs."

"Release MP Units 01 through 09."

Marcus felt the force of movement and then a rush of awareness. The entry plug was inside of the EVA. He was at one with the creature.

"Synchronization rates in the 70th percentile. Very good."

"Prepare to glide. Pilots you're on your own."

Marcus thought to himself,

_"Wings"_

The gigantic wings unfurled. He settled into a gliding pattern along with Angela and the other seven EVA units. He could see what was left of Tokoyo-3 below him. Smoking remains of JSSDF units littered the landscape. The EVAs began to circle. Below him he could see it. It was more human in appearance than his own EVA. It was covered in red armor.

"_That must be Unit-02."_

Marcus touched down, he instinctively retracted his wings. The EVAs surrounded Unit-02. Their target turned in a circle, sizing them up for battle. The time had come.


	14. Chapter 14

chapter fourteen

Unit-02 charged Angela. She was frozen in fear. Angela knew the thing intended to rip her to shreds but still she couldn't respond; there was a little girl inside of that monster. She could hear Marcus screaming at her to do something; anything. One of the seven MP EVAs stepped in front of her. It received the full measure of Unit-02's fury. The red Evangelion pushed its hands into the back of the unmanned unit's mouth. The top half of its severed head flopped to the ground. Gore spurted everywhere.

_"I think I'm going to be sick . . . "_

A square kick to the chest shook Angela out of her thoughts and brought her back to the battle. She couldn't breathe. Her ribs felt broken. Judging from the force of the blow she was lucky the kick didn't rip her in half. She jumped up from her prone position. One by one, she watched Unit-02 destroy the MP EVAs. They seemed to lack the ability to avoid the attacks. Unit-02 was fierce. It pulled limbs from torsos and tore flesh from bones with its teeth. It was like watching some primitive being protect its offspring. Before long, only Marcus and Angela remained. Unit-02 watched them both, preparing to attack. While it had defeated seven of its nine attackers, it was not without damage. Half of its facial armor was missing, exposing a portion of mangled face. One eye dangled precariously from its socket. Its hands were cut and bloodied. The entire unit was covered in gore and dirt. It was a particularly gruesome sight.

"Angela can you hear me?"

"Yes"

"If we don't do something now it's going to kill us both, do you understand?"

There was no reply.

"Do you UNDERSTAND?"

The voice wavered, "Yes."

"I'm going to keep it busy from the front, you move around back and use your lance to decapitate it. That's the only way we're going to get out of this." Marcus waited for confirmation from his partner that she had heard the plan. None came. He could tell that the Evangelion was moments away from making its move. Anger overtook him. At this rate her stupid ideas about humanity were going to get them both killed. The link between the pilots had given Marcus an awareness of Angela's thoughts since the battle began.

"Goddamnit Angela that's not a fucking little girl, it's a fucking monster and its going to fucking kill us if you don't get off your fucking ass and help me!"

At that moment the Evangelion lunged at Marcus. He no longer had time to worry about Angela. His instincts took over. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. He unsheathed his lance and struck at his attacker. It easily sliced through the EVA's arm. Unit-02 seemed unfazed. It grabbed Marcus by the throat with one hand and began to squeeze. The sudden sensation caught Marcus off guard. He could feel his own throat being compressed. The force of the pressure was enough to decapitate. He began to lose consciousness.

Angela, sensing the severity of Marcus's danger, sprang towards Unit-02. Her inexperience made her particularly vulnerable. She was no match for the battle hardened instincts of the little girl inside of the EVA. Unit-02's free arm snapped back. In an effortless motion and without letting go of Marcus, it reached into Angela and wrenched the S^2 engine from her chest. A red fluid gushed from the cavity. Unit-02 used a powerful hand to crush the pulsing organ. Angela crumpled to the ground. A heavy red foot came crashing down on her head.

_"Angela . . ."_


	15. Chapter 15

Angela sat on the couch in her living room. Her grandmother had dropped off a box of random personal effects she had kept for her over the years. There were school art projects, report cards, newspaper clippings, and a calendar. Angela picked up the calendar and looked at the year. That familiar pit formed in her stomach. She opened the calendar and thumbed through it. It was filled with notations about birthdays, school events and church gatherings. Each day had been carefully crossed off as it passed. There was even a secret code written in it so she could keep track of how often she saw her crush. The calendar stood as a testament to the life of a young girl. November first was the last day crossed off on the calendar. She met Marcus the next day.

* * *

"What are you doing tonight?" Jeanette asked Angela during study hall.

"I don't know. Whatever I guess. I can stay out until ten." Angela replied. She had only recently negotiated a later curfew. She had been caught smoking cigarettes over the summer and she still wasn't exactly out of trouble.

Jeanette looked around to make sure no adults were in earshot, "Well, we're going over to this guy's house. He's from California and he's a real dork. He keeps trying to sleep with everyone. We're taking turns dating him and then breaking up with him. Do you want to meet him?"

Angela thought about it for a moment and then replied, "Sure, I guess. Is he cute?"

Jeanette wrinkled her nose, "I don't think so. He's really skinny, but he's dorky, and I know you go for that sort."

Angela didn't like how it sounded, but Jeanette was right, she did have a thing for the awkward.

Angela was thirteen years old and pretty. Her long brown hair was curly. It fell well past her shoulder blades. Everyone told her she had beautiful eyes. She had to admit, they were right. Angela was one of those girls who had developed early. Though she was barely in the 8th grade, her size C breasts made her appear much older. She was incredibly self conscious about her body. None of the other girls looked like she did. She was always defending herself against comments from older boys. She had broken up with her puppy love boyfriend over the summer. Their relationship never progressed past holding hands. In her group of friends she was known as the quiet and smart one. Angela rarely spoke up in the group, instead preferring to observe the others as they played at life.

It was a cold and crisp night in November. The girls had all been dropped off at the skating rink and after they were sure no one would notice they had gone, they set out on their mission. Angela didn't really know the girls in the group that well. Her best friend since childhood had been hanging out with them and she had been tagging along since her return to public school. They walked the few blocks from the skating rink to where their unwitting victim lived. When they arrived a serious looking boy was sitting on a bench on the porch, he was smoking a cigarette. Jeanette had been right, he was really skinny. His hair was nearly black and it hung in his eyes. It was Marcus. Angela stayed at the back of the group like she always did. He must have realized that a girl was there he didn't know. He looked at her. It was the most intense look anyone had ever given her. It was a very adult look for a sixteen-year-old boy to be giving a thirteen-year-old girl. She knew what it meant. Angela's heart skipped a beat and her mouth went dry. In that moment the crush she had been stalking was forgotten. She never said anything to Marcus that night. She couldn't.

A few weeks later Jeanette came to Angela in study hall again. As coordinator of the "Teach Marcus a Lesson" project, she was trying to find someone else to take the next shift.

"Sarah is going to break up with him tonight. Do you want a turn?"

Jeanette pulled out her planner, "If you start dating him now, you can break up with him over Thanksgiving break."

Angela hadn't seen Marcus since the night she met him and she had yet to recover from that look. She'd been thinking about him ever since. She had no idea that her answer would permanently change her life.

"Sure."

Jeanette's face broke into a devilish grin, "Good! I already gave him your picture and he said he thought you were cute. You can go see him this weekend."

The next few days passed in a haze. Angela wasn't sure what was expected of her but she knew the first rule of the game was no giving in. She knew very little about Marcus. In fact, she knew nothing other than his name and where he was from. She learned that the house they had visited earlier belonged to his grandmother. Her friends arranged for her to go visit him. It had recently snowed and the streets were sloppy and wet. When she arrived Marcus was waiting for her on the bench. It was a frigid day and the porch was covered in ice. He stood up. He was taller than she realized. His pants were baggy and his hair hung in his eyes. A cigarette dangled between two fingers. Angela never could remember what he said to her.

She sat down next to him on the bench. She was nervous, but she liked how he felt next to her. Even though he was essentially a stranger he felt familiar and comfortable. It made her want to put her head on his shoulder. Within a very short amount of time he was kissing her. It was her first kiss. Before Angela realized what was happening, they were making out. She could feel his tongue inside of her mouth and she reciprocated. He tasted like cigarettes and marijuana. She could smell his deodorant. She didn't know what she was doing nor did she understand the feelings beginning to rise up inside of her. It was too much all at once.

"I'm getting cold," she told him.

He took her by the hand and led her into the house. Inside, an elderly lady sat on the couch, a cigarette case beside her. She was thin and sour looking. Her hair was uncombed. A huge dog lay sleeping in the middle of the room. It opened a lazy eye as the pair passed. Another, rounder lady stood in the kitchen, talking loudly on the phone. Angela felt the strangest sensation as she walked through the house. It felt like home. The two teenagers went into the basement where she was introduced to some more residents of the household. A bearded man, his uncle, was sitting and smoking a cigarette. A little boy, perhaps only a few years younger than Angela sat on the floor, watching another older boy play a video game. The older boy was Peter, Marcus's uncle. Peter was his constant companion. Though he was his uncle, Peter was a few months younger than Marcus and they had spent much of their childhood as brothers. They all hung out together before it was time for Angela to leave.

Over the next several weeks a pattern developed. Angela would go over to see Marcus, they would make out, and she would leave. Marcus rarely called her but they were boyfriend and girlfriend. To Angela, Marcus was a conundrum. On the outside he looked like a skinny stoner. He did poorly in school, didn't have a job, and hung around with all the wrong people. But when they were together and not making out, Angela began to get to know him. He was naturally intelligent and witty. He was interested in all things flight and wanted to become an aerospace engineer when he grew up. He talked about joining the military. He drew jets and planes in intricate detail. They started playing chess. She could never beat him. The only other person she could never beat was her father who had taught her the game in the first place.

Thanksgiving came and went and they were still together. Her friends were angry with her for screwing up their game. She wasn't supposed to develop feelings for him but she couldn't help it. All of that physical closeness had done something to her. It somehow trumped her desire to fit in with the group. She cared about him. Angela promised her friends she'd break up with him after the New Year. New Year's passed and Angela and Marcus were still dating, but things were beginning to change. Everyone knew that Marcus was a virgin and his friends had been riding him to change that. One day Angela came over like she always did, Marcus rarely visited her. They went in his room and closed the door. She was forever amazed at his thinness. She liked to lie next to him on his bed and run her hands over his body. There was more bone than flesh. She could always feel his heart beating through his chest with ease. She had fallen in love with his hands. She liked to examine them and kiss his fingertips. She enjoyed watching him finger the various chess pieces of his stone chess set, carefully select his piece, and then place it in a position that was sure to doom her to failure.

Often times she would crawl on top of him and shower him with kisses. She particularly liked his earlobes and his jaw line. She knew what she was doing, but at the same time she had no idea. It was impossible not to notice his desire for her, but she rarely considered it. On this day Marcus took her hand and placed it down his pants. Angela was shocked at what had happened, but she didn't pull away. She always went where he led her. She had never even seen a penis, let alone held one. She liked how it felt in her hand. She liked the reaction she got when she stroked it even more.


	16. Chapter 16

One day after they had been seeing one another for a few months Angela went to see Marcus like usual. As they sat holding one another on the edge of the bed, Marcus kissed her on the forehead and said,

"I love you."

She didn't respond. She had heard what he said, but she didn't believe him. She never believed anyone when they said they loved her. She had been specifically instructed not to believe any boy who told her that. He said it again.

"I love you. Why won't you say it?"

She didn't answer. Angela didn't understand what Marcus was asking. She didn't comprehend that he wasn't just asking her to say three words; he was telling her that he needed her. It would be years before Angela could understand that they had both been using one another to fill holes in their souls created when their mothers had abandoned them as small children. She didn't know how much he needed that love or how badly she was hurting him. She didn't realize that when she teased him she was offering him love and then taking it away. She didn't know that every time she left him, she left him humiliated. Angela was playing a dangerous game, but she never knew it. Her mother had never taught her how to act with a boy. She had only been told not to "disgrace herself in front of God like that." She didn't realize what she was doing to Marcus. She couldn't see outside of herself. It didn't help that she enjoyed his body. She would spend her afternoons kissing and teasing and then callously walk away when it was time to go, leaving Marcus red cheeked and inflamed. One night he pushed her head into his lap. Again, she willingly went where he led. Before long a salty substance spurted into her mouth. No one had ever told Angela about ejaculation. She spit it into his lap.

Angela's inexperience was her downfall. She liked the power she got from torturing Marcus. She loved to hear his heavy breathing. She liked how he held her when he was aroused. That particular day she had been teasing him with her mouth and before he could find relief she moved back up to kiss his neck. Marcus got angry. He pushed her off of him.

"You can't go from sucking a guy's dick to kissing his ear!" He had shouted at her.

Marcus stormed out of the room, punching a wall on his way. Angela didn't understand his anger. She was so naïve. That weekend she went away to a friend's house. Angela had been home only an hour when her phone rang. It was her best friend, Patricia. Since she had started dating Marcus, Angela had basically ditched Patricia for him and his group of friends.

"Angela, I think you should know Marcus slept with Catherine while you were gone."

"Are you sure?" Angela replied, barely able to speak.

"Everyone knows."

Angela had learned long ago that if she was angry enough, then she wouldn't feel the pain of rejection. Being around her mother had taught her that. So instead of dealing with the heartbreak of having been cheated on she filled herself with a rage that demanded blood. She started searching for Marcus. No one had seen him since the other night. Everyone told the same story. What Patricia said was true. Angela tracked Peter down at work.

"Where is he?!" She demanded. Her voice was full of anger.

Peter smiled. He knew this was coming and had been waiting on it. Angela always suspected that he had a hand in orchestrating her betrayal. He quickly begged off work and took Angela to where Marcus was hiding. She found him sleeping on a couch at one of Peter's friend's house. He was either so drunk or so high that he was barely cognizant. She kicked him in the ribs as hard as she could. He managed to sit up in a chair. Because of his state, he was unable to respond to her tirade. Angela slapped Marcus across the face. It was over. She wasn't about to let him see her cry. Peter offered to take her home. She accepted but instead he took her out in the country, got her high, and tried to sleep with her.

_"How could I be so stupid? I've known what he wanted from the start." _

Angela felt like an idiot. She knew, as her mother would say, that's all he was after. But still, she cared for him. She had planned on giving in, eventually. They were both virgins. She had grown up believing that meant something. She wanted it to be special. She just wasn't ready. The adults told her it would be like this. They warned her that boys only wanted one thing. Older women told her not to believe it when he said he loved her. Boys can't love. Angela didn't know what to believe. What she did know, was that she missed him. She felt it was all her fault. If only she hadn't been so reluctant. It was hard to stay away. In the short time they had been together, his family had become her family. When she went looking for him and he was off getting high and ignoring her, she would sit with his grandmother and talk. She took to teasing his little cousin, Nathan, in the same way an older sister teases a younger brother. Sometimes Nathan would chase her around with a worm or some other slimy creature. Angela would screech and run away laughing. She was still a child yet she was putting herself in increasingly adult situations. A few weeks after they had broken up, Angela went over to see Marcus. She had no idea if he had a new girlfriend or not. She really didn't care. Angela felt entitled to him. She finally said it and meant it,

"I love you."


	17. Chapter 17

It didn't take long and things were back in their normal pattern but they would never be the same. After the night in the car with Peter, Angela continued to use drugs. It gave her and Marcus something else to do besides make out and play chess. Angela became constantly suspicious of Marcus's behavior. He had cheated once and she had been told that he would do it again. A jealous streak developed. Marcus was no longer as inexperienced and he expected more from her. She didn't understand why he wanted her so badly, no one else did. One night he handed her a condom and asked her,

"Will you come back when you're ready to use this?"

Angela didn't want to lose him and like always, she went where he led. She returned that night and they went into his bedroom. It was dark. They started kissing and exploring one another. Over the past few months Angela had become quite adept at arousing her partner, but she knew next to nothing about the mechanics of love making. He was more than ready for her. It was a surprise when he entered her for the first time. It wasn't painful as she had been told it would be, though there was more to him than she expected. He treated her tenderly. She liked the closeness of the act but she didn't know how to respond to him. He suggested she get on top of him. She didn't know what to do.

"Rock your hips back and forth, like this," He held on to her and showed her how.

"Like this?" She asked.

She tried to do what he wanted her to, but she was clumsy. Finesse would come later. He was her teacher and she was his eager student. In this way they consummated their already messy teenage union. From that moment on, she was his.

The fact that Marcus and Angela finally had sex became common knowledge among the group within hours of its happening. The new physical relationship had brought them closer in some respects, but in others, it brought with it all the complications of two immature egos. Angela's girlfriends were constantly picking on the two about what they had done. They orchestrated instances where Angela and Marcus would be caught in the act in order to embarrass them. They were still angry at Angela for staying with Marcus. Angela became clingy and Marcus rebelled against her overwhelming need. They were sucking each other dry. He broke up with her. In retaliation, she told everyone he could only last a minute or two in bed. Every time he hurt her, she responded with excessive cruelty. She knew exactly where to strike in order to inflict the most pain. Afterwards she would feel bad about what she had done. A week or so later Angela would ply her way back into his bedroom with kisses and caresses. Lather, rinse and repeat. Their relationship became a running joke among their friends.

Each time Marcus broke up with her, she was hurt. She never got used to it. He had made her love him. She didn't want to be without him. When she would see him with another girl, she would dare him to kiss his new fling, or hold that girl the way he had held her. Her friends helped her plot situations in which they would be thrown together. He couldn't resist the way she touched him. It was always light as a feather, and electrifying. She would sit on his lap, finger the back of his neck, and kiss him on the cheek. It worked every time. He would melt into her arms and they would be in love again. He still never called her, she always called him. He, Peter, and Peter's friend Robert would come pick her up. Together, she and Marcus would ride around in the back seat. Whenever they were together, Angela was happy so long as Marcus had his arm around her and she could hear his heart beat. Many of the good times and a generous helping of the bad times took place in the back seat of Peter's car. Peter was a constant companion. Sometimes, Angela thought he enjoyed the angst he had a hand in creating. Marcus and Angela liked being together. They just didn't know how to be together. Maybe Marcus knew better; that they shouldn't be with one another.

The relationship continued in this way until one spring day when they were on speaking terms again. Marcus had gone to his grandfathers to help fix a clogged drain and Angela tagged along. They spent all afternoon together at his grandfather's house. He worked on the drain while she did dishes and visited with his grandfather who was sick and on oxygen. Marcus called upstairs to announce that he had finally cleared the drain and Angela went downstairs to admire his handiwork. The basement was in a state of disrepair. Many of the rooms lacked doors. The hallway was blocked by a discarded school desk. As they stood in the basement, sunlight streaming in the windows, Marcus kissed her. They weren't exactly together anymore. It had become pointless to define the beginning and end of each new stint. It was now all one big mess counted from the previous November. She kissed back. Soon they were making out. His hands were under her shirt on her body and she was unbuttoning his pants. As of late, Angela had begun to enjoy the act more. Her body was finally waking up to what they were doing. The pair went into one of the empty rooms in the disheveled basement and lay down on the floor. They didn't have a condom. In their passion they ignored that fact. Marcus entered her and within a few moments Angela felt waves of pleasure she had never experienced before. She'd had her first orgasm. She begged him not to stop and when the time came he didn't. Marcus collapsed on top of her and kissed her. He told her,

"I love you."

How could she not believe it in a moment like that? Before, Angela had never considered that they were lovers, but she now knew what it meant. In those days it was difficult to see past the coming week, let along predict the future. Teenagers are notoriously bad at judging consequence. Afterwards they sat on the basement steps, holding one another and just generally being happy. It was the last time.


	18. Chapter 18

Angela missed her period, but she didn't tell anyone. She was scared. It was unthinkable. Soon she was getting sick in the mornings. She knew what had happened. She didn't know what to do. Angela paid a woman in the grocery store parking lot to buy her a pregnancy test. It was positive. Her heart sank. How could she tell Marcus? They had broken up again since that day in the basement and things were as bad as ever. She called Marcus and begged him to come over to her mother's place. She was alone in the trailer. After much pleading Marcus finally showed. She didn't tell him. They ended up having sex on her mother's bed. He left without saying anything. As Angela watched him walk away that night she wondered how she could tell her mother. She didn't know what would happen to her or the baby. She had little hope for a good outcome. A few days later she gathered her nerve and called Marcus from her room.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence

The rest of the conversation was a blur. They were fighting, blaming, hurting. That's all they knew how to do anymore. Then he said the words that truly broke her heart for the first and only time in her life,

"I just can't say I love you anymore."

She hung up the phone. She was crushed. She had never been so alone in her life. Angela had to tell her mother. Her mother hated her. She always had. Everything that woman did was designed to hurt her. Now she had ammunition for her fight. Angela asked her mother into the bedroom. Her mother knew she and Marcus had been in a physical relationship but she offered no advice. As she cried, Angela told her mother what had happened. She slapped Angela across the face and called her a whore. Angela knew what a whore was. She had been hearing the word often enough in recent days but she didn't understand why they applied it to her. She loved Marcus and he was the only one she had ever been with. Any hope she may have had evaporated.

The next day at school everyone knew. The school counselor called Angela into the office and gave her a hug and asked her about the pregnancy. Angela confirmed it. She didn't know that the counselor had later called her mother on account of their conversation and that her mother had denied it. After school that day, Angela's mother coldly informed her that she had made an appointment for Angela so she could "get rid of it." Angela only had a vague idea of what that meant.

On Monday morning, Angela made the two hour drive to the clinic with her mother. She felt like she was on death row. She didn't want to do it. She begged her mother to let her keep her baby. Her mother told her that she was getting what she deserved. There was no one to who she could plead her case; no one to help her. State law required that she be given a sonogram. Angela lay on the table in the cold room, her legs in stirrups. For the first and last time, she saw the beating heart of her baby. She turned her face away and cried. The physical pain of the procedure was nothing compared to the psychic pain of having been complicit in the murder of her and Marcus's child. Regardless of everything that happened she loved him and that was their baby. Afterwards while she was recovering, a nurse walked in and patted her on the hip. She said to her,

"In case you wanted to know. It was a girl."

The last bit of Angela's humanity shattered. How could anybody be so cruel?

Once at home, Angela slept for an entire week. Marcus never called. No one checked on her. The day she finally got out of bed, her friend Jeanette came to see her. Angela saw her in the living room. Jeanette asked her if she was still pregnant. Angela blandly replied,

"I miscarried."

Her mother heard her from the other room. She came stomping in and said,

"Don't tell her that! You faked the whole thing."

That was it. There was nothing left to hurt.

Angela said goodbye to her friend and went downstairs to her room. She stopped in the kitchen and picked up a utility knife. Angela penned a new poem on her wall, put on one of her favorite CDs and let the cold steel bite into her wrist. The blood flowed easily. She looked up at a mushroom cloud that Marcus had drawn on her wall next to one of his planes.

"_How fitting," _she thought, _"he destroyed me."_

As the blood pooled around her, Angela began to feel dizzy. She focused on the words of the song until she lost consciousness,

_So I walk up on high_

_ And I step to the edge_

_ To see my world below._

_ And I laugh to myself_

_ As the tears roll down . . . *_ (The World I Know – Collective Soul)


	19. Chapter 19

For whatever reason, the Universe had different plans. Somehow, Angela awoke. She tried to sit up. Every inch of her body ached. Her long, curly hair was matted to the carpet with congealed blood. Her entire arm felt like it was on fire. The room smelled like rotting meat. She managed to stand. She fell back down. She sat for a moment and regained her bearings. The pool of blood was magnificent. Angela marveled at the fact that she could lose that much blood and still be standing there to look at it. She wobbled to the bathroom. Her image in the mirror frightened her. She was as white as a sheet. One half of her face was covered in her own blood. Her matted hair stuck to her head. She resembled a murder victim. Angela looked down at the gash on her wrist. She needed stitches. She was empty. She had failed. There was nothing left to do but go forward. She was undead.

Angela somehow got all of the blood washed out of her hair. When she cleaned the cut on her wrist it began bleeding again. She applied pressure and then filled the gash with superglue. She used the utility knife to cut away the bloodstained carpet. She put all of the evidence in a black trash bag and hauled it out to the alley for the trash collectors. She had been down there for three days. Nobody had cared.

On Monday she went back to school. If anyone asked about the pregnancy, she told them she miscarried. She never told Marcus about anything that had happened. She knew he didn't care. Jeanette had already told everyone that her mom said she had faked it. Angela no longer cared about anything other than hurting Marcus. She refused to speak his name. She called him "It." She found the first guy that would have her and started having sex with him. She made sure the news got back to where it counted. Angela used every opportunity she could to shove his weakness in his face. Marcus accused her of having no self respect. She bitterly wondered if he thought about where it had gone. She drank. She did drugs. She rarely went home. Angela spent the last few weeks of school in detention. Her new boyfriend started beating her up after he caught her flirting with another guy. It didn't matter. Nothing could hurt her anymore than what had already happened. She was dead inside.

Eventually she ran into Marcus at a friend's house. They ended up in the backseat of Peter's car where they had spent so much time. She had heard that he was complaining she would have nothing to do with him after the 'miscarriage'. In the car, he put his arm around her. For a moment things threatened to return to their previous state. She nearly gave in but thankfully her hatred overcame the comfort of having him there. She told him that she had faked any enjoyment he might have thought he'd given her. She wanted to damage him as much as he had damaged her.

Angela's parents decided that she needed to be taken away for awhile to let things settle down. She had an uncle that lived out on the west coast and they felt that would be a good getaway for her. It was her last night in town. Angela saw Marcus at a party. He was getting ready to leave as well. He was going back to California. His hair had been cut and he was wearing new clothes. Angela sat next to him. She kissed his cheek like she always did when she wanted him and fingered his newly shaven neck. Angela nearly dragged him upstairs to have sex with him. Afterwards she heard him bragging to his friends that she couldn't stay away from him. In retaliation she did the same thing to two more guys that night. If she was going to be a whore, at least he would only be one of the crowd.


	20. Chapter 20

Angela spent the next several years both hating Marcus and trying to forget that he existed. She didn't realize that hate wasn't the opposite of love; it was a variation of it. In her weaker moments she would let herself miss him, but the hatred was strong enough to keep those moments to a minimum. She burned every picture she had of him. She wanted to erase his existence. She found a boyfriend that was the polar opposite of him. Angela saw Marcus briefly before he entered into the army. He barely looked at her, let alone talked to her. To her it was proof that he had never cared in the first place. Angela was marrying young to get away from the mother that had hurt her so much through the years. Marcus was bitter over some relationship that didn't pan out the way he wanted.

If nothing else, the events of that year hardened Angela. She was definitely no longer a child. Scores of adults lived each day never having been through the things she had. Angela began to love life for what it was. Regardless of the pain, it was all one had. She often questioned why she was still here. She found solace in the belief that the Universe had some master plan for her. Life was the only thing she would allow herself to love. Where she had once wanted to end it all, she now wanted to live as long as possible. She was going to wrest the most out of her time. She would never again give herself over to another human being like that. She couldn't afford to. Angela picked her first husband because she knew that she could never love him. He was just another wall in her fortress. She had no more feeling for him than one does for a brick that makes up the wall of her house.

Five years after it had all happened, Marcus came to visit over the holidays. He had been in the army for a couple of years and Angela was feeling brave. She went to see him at his uncle's house. Angela was still close to the family and Nathan had become her best friend. When Angela walked in the door Marcus was playing the guitar. He looked essentially the same though the edges had been sharpened by the military. He gave her _that look._ It nearly killed her. Time had taken its toll on her anger and it was no longer an effective shield. She had no idea she still loved him until that moment. The next day she went back and offered to buy him lunch. Because she was now married, they didn't have to operate under the specter of a physical relationship. They had a good day together. It was like one of the days during the good times. They teased each other with their intellect. He showed her a picture of a girl.

"_So this is my replacement?"_ She thought. Years later she would wonder if that picture was of Erica, the woman who finally won his heart.

Marcus gave her his email address and then left town without saying goodbye. It was the last time she saw him.

As time went by, Angela and Marcus continued to keep in touch. She divorced and he eventually married. They never talked about what had happened. She had never told him the entire story. She couldn't. She couldn't face the shame of her failure. She couldn't risk him loving her any less than he already did. She once made the mistake of telling Peter she felt that she and Marcus had never gotten close again because he didn't want to be hurt anymore. Peter laughed at her,

"How could you possibly hurt him? He never felt anything for you. He used you."

He was probably right. Even so, Marcus and Angela continued to communicate. They found out that they had a lot in common and that they could talk for hours. A strange friendship developed. They would lose contact for months, sometimes years at a time. She would forget that he existed. Then an email would appear. Or an instant message would pop up. Each time it brought back the same feelings. Angela loved him.


	21. Chapter 21

It was a cold Thursday morning. Angela jumped out of bed when the alarm went off. Her husband, David, had been gone for three days. He had joined the army. His enlistment threatened Angela's carefully constructed defenses. Sometimes she looked at him and wondered if she loved him because he was so much like Marcus. It was never her intention to find someone like him, it had just happened. David and Marcus had the same physique though David was neither as tall nor dark. Angela could never beat him in chess. Her husband was intelligent and witty. His younger life had been marked by the day his mother abandoned him with his father without explanation. Angela loved David, in her own way. He would never hurt her and she would always be faithful to him. Their baby girl was asleep in her crib, she was eight months old. Angela went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She'd had that dream again. It had been nearly fifteen years since she met Marcus for the first time, but she was still dreaming about him. In her dream they were never together; he was simply present. Each time she had the dream Angela awoke with a deep sense of loneliness. They were both happily married and had children of their own but even that couldn't erase the past for her. She glanced down at her wrist. She still had a small scar. It was perhaps the only testament other than her heart to what happened that day so long ago. As she looked at her sleeping baby she thought of that other baby girl. The one that would be thirteen now. The same age she was when it all began.

_"What a different world that would be." _She thought. She often felt that the one life had to be sacrificed in order for Marcus and her to live. That never made it any easier. Life was precious. Angela glanced at the clock. She needed to get ready for work. Maybe that afternoon when she got off she could catch Marcus on the computer for a minute. She didn't even need to talk to him; just seeing that he was online gave her comfort to know that he was still out there. Existing. She couldn't live in a world where he didn't exist. Even if she never saw him again.


	22. Chapter 22

Unit-02 had inflicted mortal damage on Angela's unit. Her AT field collapsed and her life faded into the ether. With Angela's demise, it was as though half of Marcus's body had gone numb. His oxygen starved brain saw his sync ratio drop to less than twenty-five percent. Without his psychic buffer he had nothing to anchor him into reality. His rationality evaporated. He became as primitive as his Evangelion host. He was all instinct. All id. He let out a primal roar. With renewed strength Marcus broke the hold Unit-02 had on his throat, ripping its hands from its arms. He tackled the unit and began tearing at its flesh. The Evangelion had finally run out of power. The white armor of his EVA dripped red. Metallic teeth tore into Unit-02's belly. As he eviscerated the fallen foe, the other MP EVAs began to reanimate. They took to the air and circled the kill like vultures. Marcus sensed a presence behind him. With animalistic ease he stood up and sliced his lance through the air. A purple, armored head fell to the ground, followed by its gargantuan body.


	23. Chapter 23

"The Americans have betrayed us."

"Colonel Fletcher tried to sabotage something he did not understand."

"It matters little now. In his folly, the remaining American pilot killed the Third Child."

"Unit-01 can still be utilized in the Red Earth Purification Rite. The American will act as the vessel. It is a minor change. The ceremony will go forth as planned."

"While somewhat fewer than planned, it will have to do."

"Return the EVA series to its rightful form.

Evangelize humankind and restore us to our true form.

With indiscriminate death and prayers, we return to our original state."

"Let the sacrament begin."


	24. Chapter 24

_Darkness_

_ Warm_

_ Safe_

_ Mother_

_ Will you love me?_

_ Emptiness_

_ Cold_

_ Why won't you love me?_

_ Fear_

_ Don't leave me!_

_ Panic_

_ I can't live without you!_

_ Despair_

_ Won't someone love me?_

_ Father_

_ Will you love me?_

_ Anger_

_ Why won't anyone love me?!_

_ I love you._

_ Humiliation_

_ Stop hurting me!_

_ Rage_

_ I'm sorry._

_ Shame_

_ I can't love you._

_ I don't know how._

_ Pain_

_ Loneliness_

_ Why won't anybody love me?!?_

_ Emptiness_

_ Hope_

_ Will you love me?_

_ I love you._

_ Safe_

_ Warm_

_ Don't leave me!_

_ Fear_

_ Please don't leave me!_

_ Panic_

_ I can't live without you!!_

_ Darkness_

_ *screaming*_


	25. Chapter 25

Marcus was outside of his EVA. How he knew that was uncertain. He had no sensation at all yet he was experiencing everything. He couldn't feel his own body but he could feel every living person coursing through his soul. All of their pain and joy was his. He felt like screaming but there was no mind to direct the voice that wasn't there. He had no idea where his existence ended and where another's began.

_"This is death."_

A voice came to him, soft, childlike, quiet, "This is life."

"_Where am I?"_

"You are everywhere."

"_How can that be?"_

Something of his own stirred within him. He suddenly felt as though he had form. Marcus became physically aware of his surroundings. The landscape was foreign, desolate, and otherworldly. An eerie glow permeated the atmosphere. All he could do was sit and stare in a combination of wonder and horror. Everything was gone. The moon, he assumed it was the moon, hung awkwardly low in the alien sky. He was on a lone island in a sea of souls. A young girl stood before him. She was naked. Her skin glowed with a soft light. She was translucent. Marcus didn't know if he was looking at an angel or a demon.

"You are all fear. You are afraid to be alone."

The creature moved closer. Marcus shrunk back to avoid contact. He was indeed, afraid.

The girl morphed into the image of Angela. She touched his cheek.

"Does this take away your fear?"

Angela was dead. He knew that. He had watched her die at the hands of that monster.

"What the hell are you trying to do?!" Marcus demanded, his voice cracking with terror.

She morphed again into the image of his wife.

"What about this? Will this make you safe?"

Marcus's mind was already threadbare from the recent events. This was almost too much. It was like a bad acid trip. He wanted to run but he wasn't entirely sure he had the legs to carry him. The girl fluidly changed shape again, this time she appeared as the mother who had abandoned him.

"Is she who you want?"

Marcus became irate.

"STOP!!" He screamed from the depths of his being.

"What do you want from me?" His voice was now an angry whisper. His head hung in defeat.

She morphed back into herself and looked at him with the questioning eyes of an innocent doe.

"What do you want from life? The choice is yours. The past has been written but the future can be whatever you want it to be. You are all. It is in your hands now. You can be either the creator or destroyer of humankind. What will you do?"


	26. Chapter 26

_*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*_

Marcus bolted up in bed. His heart was pounding out of his chest. His sheets were damp with sweat. That noise had brought him out of . . . somewhere.

_*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*_

The room was dark, but it smelled familiar. He was in his room. As he instinctively reached over and turned off his alarm, he pulled the clammy bedding from his body. Somewhere in the fog that was his brain a small voice echoed,

_"Its up to you."_

As the disorientation began to clear he thought to himself,

"_Was I dreaming?"_

He never slept like that; he felt like he'd come back from the dead. He rarely dreamt and his dreams were never that vivid. He rubbed his eyes. It was as if some strange drug permeated his body. Marcus swung his legs off the side of his bed and flipped on the light. Through one bleary eye he took stock of his surroundings. Everything was exactly as it was every day that he'd been here. He covered his face with his hands and tried to clear his head. His clock read 6:04.

"_I guess I'm in one piece."_

From across the room he noticed that he had left his laptop on during the night. Marcus moved to shut it down and saw a window minimized on his task bar. It was titled _The Epitaph._ An audible groan escaped his lips,

"_I must have been reading a fan fic before I went to sleep. No wonder."_

That settled it for him. It had all been a dream. It had been one hell of a dream. What was he doing dreaming about her? Of all the stupid things to do. . . It didn't matter now. He had to get to work. His brain felt like it was full of sand. That wasn't surprising considering his surroundings.

"_Maybe a shower will help."_

Marcus gathered up his gear, threw on his boots, and headed out to the showers. Once outside, a cigarette pressed between his lips, he looked around at the post. Everything was where it should be. The people, buildings, vehicles, and desert looked just like they always had.

_"Its up to you."_

He shook the thought from his head and continued his trek to the showers. Marcus was so engrossed in trying to process what his mind had done to him during the night that he nearly ran into his one subordinate soldier.

"Morning Sarnt!" His soldier greeted him.

Marcus gritted his teeth.

"_That kid's as dumb as a post."_

He was in no mood to correct the sloppy pronunciation of his rank this morning. Normally he'd make the kid do pushups or something but not today. Marcus ignored the young soldier and kept walking. As he walked the bright desert sun helped settle him into reality. Even though he must have slept like a rock he felt like he hadn't slept in days. It was no minor blessing that the morning was quiet. The shower facilities were surprisingly empty for this time of day, but that didn't bother him. He was still having troubles clearing the dream from his head.

_"Its been years since I've had a dream like that."_

The images kept flashing through his mind: Cold sterile steel, strange bodies, government officials, international conspiracies, Angela. On some level he could still smell and taste the fluid that had filled the cockpits of those monsters. It had all seemed so real.

"_This place is getting to me. The boredom is literally driving me crazy."_

He undressed and turned on the shower. He let the water flow over his body. It did little to alleviate the funk of his mood. He couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened. There it was again,

_"Its up to you."_

_ "What's up to me?"_

As he was trying to remember what that statement could mean he began to wash. The more awake he became the less it felt like a dream and the more it felt like a memory.

_"That's impossible. It was that damned fan fic I was reading before bed."_ He rationalized.

It's going to be a long day.

"_That's impossib . . . "_

His hand was frozen on his bicep. He couldn't move. His breath quickened as his heart turned to stone and sank to the bottom of his stomach.

_"Where's my tattoo!"_


End file.
